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- David

The Rider

"The rider is ready. Every fiber of his body is tensed. The interests at stake here are enormous. He knows the opposition is strong and varied, but he is not afraid. In his mind, all is absolute silence, tension, certainty.

Then the traffic light turns green. Two, three strokes and the rider is spurting full out; there he goes, the first to shoot across the tramline, earning him the usual hundred-thousand-guilder premium. Of all his rivals, a Volkswagen poses the greatest threat, but the rider squeezes out every last drop and succeeds in throwing himself over the front of the crosswalk first, then over the back of the crosswalk, as first past a traffic post and as first past a garbage can: four more fat prizes of one hundred thousand guilders each. Then the Volkswagen passes him.

But he's still first among two-wheelers! He passes the back and then the front bumpers of two parked cars, the two curbs of a side street and an advertising kiosk before a scooter catches up with him; by then, however, that's earned him another seven times one thousand guilders.

The rider is about to cut in and coast when he sees up ahead a woman on a bike, with a child on the back. Two hundred thousand guilders if he passes her before she gets to that pole. Two hundred thousand! Even though he's nowhere near having recovered from his sprint, the rider jumps again with all his might. No way he can ever beat this woman. But this rider has surprised the sporting world before, and this time he gives it ever milli-billimeter he's got: in a desperate attempt, he pitches forward.

The woman sticks out her hand and turns down a side street.

The rider rolls out, slowly catches his breath, cruises up to the next traffic light. He stands and eyes his opponents. The BMW motorcycle seems fairly invincible.

A million if he beats it to the crosswalk anyway!"

I think I've talked about this book before, called The Rider by Tim Krabbé. It's a thin little read, $13 at Barnes & Noble. I lent a copy to my amigo Jeff and then he moved, taking the book with him! It's cool though, cuz Kasey got me another one as part of my b-day spoiling.

The book takes place in a rider's head during a 137 kilometer bicycle road race. The excerpt above is one my favorite parts, as I think all cyclists have gone through some variation of this game with regularity. It's a fun read and easy to get caught up in; it captures a lot of the varied emotions I go through when riding hard, from hopelessness to confusion and elation to self-chastisement. Throughout the book you can tell the author (and the rider) loves cycling for it's own sake and even the torturous aspects of the race are worth it.

If you're in the market for a good, quick read that will make you feel like you've expended yourself, pick it up.

- David

New Year's Resolutions

The end of the year is always a strange time for me. I think it's the combination of turning a year older and having the year begin again at roughly the same time. I'm not sure how other people are but I've always felt a sort of accumulation as the year progresses, and a slate-clearing on the first day of January. Like arriving at a resting point after a long night of driving on a road trip and starting again fresh the next morning.

In writing this I realize this year is different. My internal clock is no longer set to the cold, numbered, Gregorian calendar, but to the timing of the tiny life that grows beneath my encircling arm as sleep covers we three. The start of our new year and the clearing of our slate will be sometime in the spring.

As the years go by I'm less and less compelled to make New Year's resolutions but I always try to make a couple anyway. To a lot of people it's just another day, but I welcome an excuse to take a brief look back and see what I'd like to change going forward. So here we go.

Firstly, I'm going to write more. This is partly because I like it so much and partly because people keep telling me I need to do it. True, these people are family members and persons I'm currently sleeping with, but the encouragement is nice. I'm pretty sure I said this two or three years ago, but I'm going to start a journal or a notebook I write in every day. I probably need to practice if I'm going to do anything with my writing, which would be nice. I'd really like to do some kind of comic or graphic novel, but I have no artistic talent. Maybe I should put art classes in this list somewhere…

Concerts. I need to go to more concerts this year. I went to ONE MUTHAFLIPPIN' CONCERT last year, and that's just not acceptable. Unlike my girl Kasey, I wasn't a big concert kid in my younger days. She's been to so many concerts I wonder how she had time for anything else, and I envy her. Growing up in Idaho, and then being a poor geek in Phoenix, I didn't really get into that scene. Which is very sad to me now that I've seen a live show by a band I really love. Tom Waits, Trent Reznor, Jenny Lewis, and others better prepare themselves this year to a see a weird looking guy yelling in the front row and trying to steal an article of their clothing.

Legs. Big legs. Big motorboatin' legs. Huge, trackstar, legs. This is purely a vanity item, but I have a dream to have thighs so big people think I've had half of a liposuction procedure done and calves that would seem to indicate steroid use or implants. Of course this would also hopefully mean I'm a fast bastard on a bike, which is a daily goal of mine. To this end I plan to eat better, get enough protein (which I haven't been consistently doing), stay limber with yoga, continue to ride daily, and hit the gym. I'm not a big guy, but I hope that with blind determination and soy I'll be successful.

Another resolution I always set, new year or not, is to start meditating again. With a kid on the way I'm going to need all the mindfulness and peace I can get.

I really need to keep in touch with my family. I'm horrendous with this. Truly.

Maybe this will be the year I get my personal hygiene under control. I dunno, possibly next year. I'm going to be pretty busy.

- David

BD B-Day

As I so subtly mentioned a few times this week, Tuesday was my birthsday. The man you know as BuddhaDave, aka Y.T., aka David, aka That Weird Kid Who Blogs turned a ripe twenty-six years old.

Luckily we had scheduled an ultrasound for that same day so I had a valid reason to leave work early. After putting in a five hour day on the phones I biked home and was immediately whisked away by Kasey and her mom. I dunno why, but apparently we've been going to a hospital in either North Carolina or Florida and it takes AGES to get there. Having not eaten anything all day (and biking a hard seventeen miles to boot) I passed the time eating Ritz crackers and wincing at Kasey's mom's driving. According to the ultrasound lady lil' Jonas is right on schedule in terms of weight and length and all that, and apparently is packing some major heat for a baby, if you get my meaning. *wink wink, nudge nudge*

Afterward my friends & co-workers Nancy and David S. met the lovely Kasey and I at a very local Mexican joint where food and libation soon ensued. We promptly destroyed about ten pounds of free chips and salsa before starting in on the hard stuff. Making sure I had the whole Beer Before Liquor nursery rhyme correct I had me a whiskey sour first and then a beer or two. David S. being the good friend that he is then ordered some rounds of tequila and I was instructed on the salt/shot/lemon technique and had a chance to practice it three or four times before the night was over. Kurtz showed up somewhere before the last couple of rounds but after I had donned the gold and black Birthday Sombrero.

Nancy had to be home for some dumb reason and started the beginning of the end of phase one. David S. was a peach and walked us home before heading out himself. Phase two began (and ended) at my place with laughable movies and bourbon shots followed by See's Candy chocolate chasers. We watched a movie called Wolf Girl or Blood Moon, depending on where you live which ended up being pretty awesome. Or maybe it was the booze. After that we started People Under the Stairs which I have seen multiple times and is always entertaining.

Somewhere in here I got up to get some cereal and had about half a dozen spoon-fulls before I started feeling a little funny. Bed time was announced when I got queasy from looking down at my dog and decided I needed to lay down. Kurtz missed the last ferry to Norfick and ended up sleeping on my couch. Six hours later when my alarm went off for work I drank some water, downed some aspirin, and decided I wasn't going to make it in. I phoned in before my shift was starting and spent the first half of the day recovering and the second half enjoying my lady's company, eating, and making sure the couch stayed warm. When I finally wobbled out of bed for real I took two steps into the living and said, "I'm sorry, just a sec, I'm gonna throw up" and promptly did. But only a little. I'd like to officially add mushrooms to the list of things that make me think I've thrown up pieces of my internal bits, if only for a second. I immediately felt better afterward.

I thoroughly enjoyed the marking of my twenty-sixth trip around El Sol and want to say thanks to my friends, my fiance´, my family, and to the forces that be for keeping me around this long. I'm grateful for everything.

- David

The Dead Flag Blues

I've posted repeatedly over the last week or so on how much I like "Godspeed You! Black Emperor".  Lately they're all I've been listening to; I'm completely addicted.  If the human race had been born without sight, this is what our movies would be like.

I'm going to be complete dorky now and post lyrics from one of their songs, "The Dead Flag Blues".  It's actually monologue that happens within the first six minutes of the song.  The accent to me sounds Native American, but I could be wrong.  With all of the ambient background noise it's chilling and surreal:

"The car is on fire, and there's no driver at the wheel
And the sewers are all muddied with a thousand lonely suicides
And a dark wind blows

The government is corrupt
And we're on so many drugs
With the radio on and the curtains drawn

We're trapped in the belly of this horrible machine
And the machine is bleeding to death

The sun has fallen down
And the billboards are all leering
And the flags are all dead at the top of their poles

It went like this:

The buildings tumbled in on themselves
Mothers clutching babies
Picked through the rubble
And pulled out their hair

The skyline was beautiful on fire
All twisted metal stretching upwards
Everything washed in a thin orange haze

I said, "Kiss me, you're beautiful -
These are truly the last days"

You grabbed my hand
And we fell into it
Like a daydream
Or a fever

We woke up one morning and fell a little further down
For sure it's the valley of death

I open up my wallet
And it's full of blood"

At the part he says, "It went like this" a series of violins comes in and even though they're playing simple repeating notes it adds a wonderful depth to rest of the movement.  That's right, movement.  This band is like a beautiful, creepy orchestra in more ways than one, and long songs with movements within them are just one of the similarities.

And the lines:

"I said, 'Kiss me, you're beautiful -
These are truly the last days'

You grabbed my hand
And we fell into it
Like a daydream
Or a fever"

are just amazing.  The delivery of every word is perfect.  It's hard to explain, but I hope you're intrigued enough to get at least this album and give it a few listens.

I'm going to try blasting these guys tonight on my way home.  Hopefully the wind hasn’t shifted too much so I can actually hear the quieter parts.

 - David

Red Means Stop!

Insert Hellboy picture here.  Sadly I'm at work today and cannot login to do a proper post, so use your imagination.  We apologize for the inconvenience.

Yesterday I headed Downtown to do a bit of grocery shopping with Jenny (my bike), The Mansion (my big bag), and the newest member of the team, Nathan Explosion (the super loud iPod-playing bike speaker thingy).  Whilst perusing the ladies deodorant section my friend Kurtz appeared, having seen my bike locked up outside.  After purchasing forty-five pounds or so of groceries I accompanied him to the mall where he was headed to pay his phone bill.  After answering questions about our cycling shoes ("Hey, are those soccer shoes?") and looking at graphic novels at B&N we took off, and I had a fun time blasting Dethklok from my new bike accessory and bombing the three levels of the parking garage down to street level.  I don't often get to do it, but cycling with a friend is a lot of fun.  Especially with a soundtrack!

Now, to the soccer moms and angry commuters of the world it may seem that I'm a careless and dangerous cyclist, but let me assure you that I'm more aware of my surroundings and careful than 95% of the drivers out there.  For one, I'm on the outside of my vehicle instead of the other way around, and that's something I never forget.  And two, I know just how retarded and absent-minded people get behind the wheel of a car and I'm constantly prepared to have someone try and run me over.  As a (sometimes) fast moving object in an urban environment that straddles the line between pedestrian and vehicle, I have some wiggle room that I would be remiss if I didn't take advantage of.  So when I'm in traffic and you see me execute any number of creative maneuvers I do as a cyclist in the city, just know that I've played it out in my mind multiple times and double-checked all parties involved as much as possible before I do anything, legal or not.

So imagine my not-quite-surprise when I have the green light and take a right-hand turn into the closest lane and suddenly a car is speeding through the intersection, against the light, luckily in the next lane over.  At first I thought, "Crap, did I not have the light?  No, I'm pretty sure it was green and other cars were stopped..."  I made sure the car in question wasn't going to pancake me and took a quick glance back.  Sure enough, his light was red.  I've seen innumerable cars roll through stop signs and the like, but this was my first blatant red light runner.  You may be calling me hypocritical at this point, but I was pissed.  If I run a red light and get hit, that's my fault and at most the other person will have to fill out an insurance claim and a police report.  If someone fails to stop and takes me out, the consequences are a lot greater on the shit end of the stick.

I started to chase down the villain to see where the fire was and possibly inform him of his mistake, but at the next intersection he pulled a quick U-turn.  More and more I think how handy and pleasing it would be to have a roll of big stickers readily available that say things like "I Drive Like a Douche", "I Have No Idea What I'm Doing", and "Warning: Asshole Behind the Wheel" to punish bad driving behavior and warn other people, drivers and cyclists alike, about what they can expect.  Kurtz had a good idea as well involving NAMBLA bumper stickers.  I'm sure it could be construed as property damage or some other BS if we got caught, but man, it would still be worth it.  Maybe we could pass it off as confrontational written-word performance art.  Freedom of speech, man!

Anyone know of a good sticker-printer and delivery system?  Just for uh, conversational purposes?

 - David

Lift Your Skinny Fists Like Antennas to Heaven

The Christmas Comedown begins, as The Birthday Countdown winds up.

I'll have a post documenting my loot later, but let me just say I made out like a drunk girl with self-esteem issues at prom. At the exact time of this writing I'm either wearing or near at least five presents. All parties concerned spoiled me in one way or another and I'm grateful. Tasteless thank-you cards are being devised now.

The hardest part of getting Xmas money is deciding what to get for myself. As you can doubtless tell from my Wishlist I have no problem finding crap I want, but when it comes down to pulling the trigger I can never pick easily. Do I get myself one of the super dorky items on my list, or some of the smaller items I've been looking at for a while? Decisions decisions. And now that The White Talon needs a new alternator, I'm thinking of being all responsible and shit and saving my Christmas cash for that. We'll see I guess, we'll see. Those rollers have been calling my name for 365+ and counting, but there's a lot of cheaper things I could definitely enjoy.

As for the giving portion of the season I'm sad to say that I didn't do too hot. Getting laid off earlier this year put us down into a hole that we're just starting to see the top edge of, and getting it lower than eye level is still somewhere in the future. I took care of bills and other adult things, then my lady, then a few friends where fate stepped in, and that meager amount saw the end of my expendable income. Every year it seems I don't have enough cash to take care of kith and kin and every year I vow to do better next time. I can't even seem to motivate myself early enough to do cards, and for that I want to apologize. I love all of my family and don't do enough to show it. If you get something in my mail from me sometime in February or July, don't be surprised.

In the past three days I've eaten enough and laid on the couch for a sufficient amount of time to really loathe myself, so apparently this holiday has been a success. I was able to do not one but two loads of laundry today, as well as run the dishwasher and straighten up the house a bit. The days before that though, my list of accomplishments have been as follows: Eaten enough sugar to drive a sperm whale diabetic, eaten enough in general to handicap a hearty mule, warmed various couches with my sugar-fueled body heat, and watched enough TV to not only give myself a tumor but also shrink said tumor with the same television screen radiation. Did I mention the sleeping in? Come Sunday morning I am probably so screwed. Tomorrow there is a bike ride at 9:00am and while my legs and the angel on my shoulder say, "Go, go!" the realistic devil on the other side says "You'll never get up in time." I'd like to prove him wrong, but we all know my proclivity to sleep late when I have nothing pressing to do in the morning.

Following friends and family electronically like I do, I have to say I'm jealous of everyone who's been snowed in this holiday. Back on the farm my dad has been snowed in for a day or two and a few of my Brightkite buddies have reported the same. Christmas in P-Towne saw warm weather and I bitched every moment I was outside or in a car. I remember living at home and getting snowed in, then venturing outside to build a snow cave in our front yard or walking up the drift which would form every year and reach from ground to roof in one unbroken arc. Those were the days man, those were the days. Of course, the days of waking up on Christmas morning to a flooded basement because frozen pipes had cracked weren't that much fun, but you take the good with the bad. Even though I'd have to invest in some new gear I'd love for it to snow here.

Recently I posted on music I like and had included a lil' band called Godspeed You! Black Emperor (even though I had punctuated it incorrectly) as one of the bands I really liked even though I had only heard one album. Well I've heard more now, and holy crap. They are so awesome. Definitely give them a listen. They are da bomb.

Well, Kasey and crew are putting the finishing touches on closing down this hear Starbucks so I gotta pack up and git. Take care ya'll, and be safe as new year arrives iffin' we don't talk before then.

- David